New Year

Really, it is not that strange for a retired hospice nurse to do such a thing.

Every year, about this time, I review my “Death” folder, to make sure it is up to date.

As you can see, it includes instructions for the disposal of my body. It also includes an updated list of bank accounts and insurance policies and who to contact to stop my pension checks. Some years I tinker with the song list for my memorial service. This year I had to add a whole page of instructions on how to help my disabled son.

I do this because I love my children very much and while I can not make my death easy for them, I can make it less difficult by giving them access to the information they will need in the days immediately following my death.

Now on to more fun topics.

I thought I would try my hand a New Year’s resolutions. In the past, I did not bother with them, thinking that if I wanted to initiate a change, I should just do it and not wait for the calendar to catch up with me.

This year, I thought, “What if I am missing out? What if New Year’s resolutions will really improve my life and I never gave them a fair chance?”

This was my first draft.

But frankly if seems kind of bossy and abusive “for my own good,” kind of like The Biggest Loser TV show where participants enter into a boot camp full of healthy food and vigorous exercise.

Draft 2.

This one is more gentle, and a lot more “new agey.” But is also seems pretty complicated and likely doomed to failure if I can’t pull my resolutions up from memory.

So I settled on this one.

How about you all? Any New Year’s resolutions that you would like to share?


  1. Some years ago I started a “core desires” list instead of New Year’s resolutions. The idea came from Danielle Laporte – she has a whole system. I did the full system the first year & it was a lot of work. I’ve fine tuned it to my own version over the years and continue to use it. The point is instead of setting goals you think about how you want to feel and then make those feelings your “goals”. So if contentment is my goal how do I go about feeling that way? It can include ways to simplify or restricting purchases or taking yoga classes or any number of things. But my focus is on having that feeling rather than achieving some accomplishment. It can be kept pretty simple and you can choose to check in at whatever regular interval works for you. It’s changed how I look at my life and made me more aware and “present”.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I like this. I will look into her system. I do not need to add more complication to my life right now, but I am interested in finding ways to encourage the positive feelings.


  2. When I was leading smoking cessation groups, I came across advice that makes a lot of sense. Participants were advised to set a date for quitting, so as to avoid procrastination, but NOT to make the date January 1. The reason for that is that most people have a long history of breaking New Year’s resolutions, but if you make the date your birthday, or your spouse’s birthday, or some other significant day (one person I knew quit on the day she took her doctoral qualifying exams!), you are more likely to stick to it. But the best story I heard was from a participant who had failed many times to quit; one day while driving on the highway he reached for a cigarette, realized he didn’t want it, and threw the whole pack out the window. It worked. Normally I wouldn’t encourage littering, but this was a good one. He recognized that he was ready for the change, and made it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This comment is from reader Lou, who was not able to access the comments portion and sent it directly to me:

    Today’s post, which greatly interested me, appears not to have a “comment ” button.
    Undeterred, I offer my single resolution:
    Get up and go to exercise class 4 mornings a week.
    Classes are all at about 10AM, close to my home, inexpensive. And when I am going to exercise, I: get out of bed at a decent hour (7:30ish), get dressed (not always a priority when “Tin Man” syndrome is active), and eat a healthy breakfast an hour beforehand.
    All of which I’m not likely to do without the specific objective “Get to class on time.’
    Exercise itself: eases my joints, opens my asthmatic lungs, keeps my weight in check, fosters socialization, improves my sleep, and makes me feel virtuous. What’s not to like? except getting out of a warm bed on a cold morning…


  4. I thought I was the only one with a death file. Those still living after you’re gone with thank you.

    Your goal progression made me chuckle, but you’ve dug down to the core of your resolutions . . . easy to grasp and pursue. They look good!

    I do goals/resolutions by quarters instead of years because it’s easier for me to think only 3 months ahead and to evaluate/adjust every quarter. My two biggies this quarter: write a better book, think/speak more positively.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. After decades of watching families in the midst of grief try to locate paperwork that they needed immediately, having a death file strikes me as a loving thing to do. Your goals are much more concrete than mine, so 3 months at a time allows for completion, revision as needed. I will get to the point where I can take on those kinds of projects again. Just, not yet.


  5. Your two resolutions are what I would expect from you…simple, minimal & easy to remember. I don’t make resolutions, as I seem to never stick to them for very long. Maybe I should pick two easy to remember ones. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I resolved to floss regularly since October, and I hope to continue to my next dental appointment and thereafter. My dentist gave me hope that this will help my teeth. It will be less work for my hygienist and should decrease the level of pain from upcoming cleanings.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think the way you have done your resolution agrees with the other folks who don’t start them on New Years Day, but when it makes sense to do so. Good luck with keeping your teeth healthy.


  7. Fawn,

    I have been free from alcohol etc. for 21 years, and I have some advice for you if you want to quit drinking: read Jack Trimpey’s Rational Recovery, or visit the Rational Recovery website, which has all the info you need to easily give up alcohol for life.


    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you very much, and, if you really want to be “alcohol free” I do hope you check out


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