Like most of you, I am sheltering in place, at home to reduce the rapid spread of the CONOVID 19 virus.
This gives me lots of time to work on home projects and restoring the floor is a meditative, time-consuming process. It gives me lots of time to reflect on things (other than how great the floor is going to look.)
One of the thoughts that I keep returning to is “How did I get here?” I retired at age 58 from a job that I had loved for decades until I felt overextended and burnt out. I’ve been a caregiver since I was 11 years old. I still am. When did it stop being a purpose and become a burden? I can’t identify the day that happened, but I can identify the decade that it did. It has taken me 2 years of active self-care to get to a point of feeling well enough to start a new project.
Next thought, “Where do I want to go from here?” And I am just beginning to feel my way into the answer.
So while I am sheltering at home, I will continue to clean and lean into what comes.